Advice to new parents

Help to cope with crying babies

A baby’s cry can be upsetting and frustrating. It is designed to get your attention, and you may be worried that something is wrong with your baby.

Your baby may start to cry more frequently at about 2 weeks of age.

The crying may get more frequent and last longer during the next few weeks, hitting a peak at about 6 to 8 weeks.

Every baby is different, but after about 8 weeks, babies start to cry less and less each week.

Remember – This phase will stop! Remember ICON to help cope with their crying.
Babies Cry, You Can Cope!

I - Infant crying is normal and it will stop
C - Comfort methods can sometimes soothe baby, and the crying will stop
O - It’s OK to walk away if you have checked baby is safe and the crying is getting to you
N - Never, ever shake or hurt a baby

This content was developed with support from Dr Matthew Price, Clinical Lead and Clinical Psychologist at Bradford District Care NHS Foundation Trust for Little Minds Matter, on behalf of The Bradford Partnership (Working Together to Safeguard Children).

What can I do to help my baby?

Comfort methods can sometimes soothe baby, and the crying will stop.

Babies can cry because they are hungry, tired, wet or dirty or if they are unwell.

Check these basic needs and try some simple calming techniques:

• Talk calmly, hum or sing to your baby
• Let them hear a repeating or soothing sound
• Hold them close – skin to skin
• Go for a walk outside with your baby
• Give them a warm bath

These techniques may not always work. It may take a combination or more than one attempt to soothe your baby.

If you think there is something wrong with your baby or the crying won’t stop speak to your GP, Midwife or Health Visitor.

If you are worried that your baby is unwell visit NHS 111.

The crying won’t stop, what can I do now?

Not every baby is easy to calm but that doesn’t mean you are doing anything wrong.

Don’t get angry with your baby or yourself. Instead, put your baby in a safe place and walkaway so that you can calm yourself down by doing something that takes your mind off the crying. Try:

• Listening to music, doing some exercises or doing something that calms you.
• Call a relative or friend – they may be able to help you calm or may be able to watch your baby.

After a few minutes when you are calm, go back and check on the baby. It’s normal for parents to get stressed, especially by crying. Put some time aside for yourself and take care of your needs as well as your baby’s to help you cope.

What not to do

Handling a baby roughly will make them more upset. Shouting or getting angry with your baby will make things worse.

Sometimes parents and people looking after babies get so angry and frustrated with a baby’s cry they lose control.

They act on impulse and shake their baby. Shaking or losing your temper with a baby is very dangerous and can cause:

• Blindness
• Learning disabilities
• Seizures
• Physical disabilities
• Death

Remember: Never, ever shake or hurt a baby.

You can get more advice from the ICON Cope website or from the NSPCC website.

Spending time at home with babies and toddlers

The best gift for your child is time shared with you. Babies learn about their world through relationships and interactions. You can help your baby to make sense of what is happening around them in lots of different ways.

Being with your baby

Positive early experiences can help your children in many different ways as they grow older:

• Spend time with your baby, looking at them, talking to them, smiling at them and playing with them
• Give comfort to your baby through skin-to-skin contact and by using calming, loving words.
• Help your baby express themselves by putting words to their emotions. You don’t need to ‘fix’ their feelings; being with them is enough

Get to know your baby

Get to know your baby and understand how they are feeling from what their body and expressions tell you.

• Research suggests children play better (longer and more creatively) with fewer toys around them, so less is more!
• Delight in their play and encourage their exploration and self-discovery
• Play games that encourage eye contact and facial expressions such as clapping games and peekaboo

Follow your baby’s lead

Babies learn about their world through their relationships and interactions.

• Notice what your baby is interested in (looking at, reaching for, signalling to). Comment on what they can see
• Let your baby guide you. If they ask you for help then do so, but be careful not to take the lead
• Copy what your baby is doing such as faces they pull
• Your child will have lots of energy so active games and dancing can help them enjoy using that energy
• Give your baby a voice by speaking as though your baby is speaking, for example “ooh I like that teddy, Mummy!”

Links for more information

• Bradford FYI website
• Better Start Bradford
• Building big little brains
• Better lives, healthy futures